It starts out innocent enough.
"Hmm. Must have left it in my pants pocket."
With that, you end up not getting that six pack, tell them you will be right back, and leave to go find your ID that you could of sworn was in your wallet.
Its not in your pants. Its not in that monstrosity that people know of as a purse. Its not even in the car from the last time you bought beer. Its not on your desk. Your kids say they havent seen it, and you believe the older two. Not the babies, though. They require a bit more scrutiny.
So. You set out on your investigation. Watching. Waiting. The things going through your mind keep this crime fresh.
Will it ever stop? How can we prevent this sort of thing from happening? How long until the little theives find a way around any security you could invent?
Ahh. The life of crime of two well known suspects.
You must be one step ahead, but somehow, they always find a way.
Suddenly, you see movement in the lair. Shadows, if you will. They are heading out. Time to get your wits! These two arent your average dumbies! They are hardened criminals!
They are on the move, heading off for another treasure.
AH! I see now! The good stuff! These guys are going for the gold! Time to catch them in the act, let them learn a "real" lesson!
Wait! You gotta remember the mission. Find the secret stash, get your stuff back, and THEN get 'em.
So you decide to hang back in the shadows, watching. Waiting. Always watching and waiting for your moment to pounce.
You learn something about these clever devils. They are quite disciplined in the art of gymnastics. Its quite a show to watch these two in action. Quite a show. They even manage this AND watching out for one another. WOW.
After a minute, they are out, and on the loose. Heading to what you hope is their stash spot. After a second of evading and ensuring they arent being followed, they stop at a very unsuspecting location. A closet in the hallway.
You watch as they carefully open the door. Dont sneeze. PLEASE dont sneeze!
They work together to move a heavy looking box out of the way. Old cookbooks. Genius!
Then, JACKPOT. So thats where they have been keeping them. Really good idea, actually. Who moves a box of cookbooks?
You move in to pounce, and suddenly you hear, "whatcha doin'?"
CRAP. Busted. With that, the two get away. Thinking this person is possibly another lookout for those two clever criminals, you decide to focus your attention on this one. Maybe you will get some information.
"Who do you work for?! How deep does the ring go?! I need answers NOW! You dont want to go down with them! Their future is sealed. You still have a chance, son!"
"Mom? What are you talking about? Are you ok? You look kinda scary."
Nobody lets me have any fun.
And on that note-
No. I did not find my license. I did find $20, a pair of shades I have been missing for 3 months, 2 tubes of chapstick, a crayon, an Ace of Spades, and a bunch of cereal, candy, and french fries piled neatly and sorted neatly by size and color.
Oh. And that watch that disappeared right after I got it for christmas...
Not a bad dars haul.
But this means I cannot close this investagion just yet.